Silence Is Golden

Silence is one of the most underutilized listening skills, because most people find it difficult not to respond or talk. Silence is effective because it makes most people uncomfortable, and when someone is uncomfortable, they are primarily focused on flipping the switch and getting to a state where they feel good. Imagine if you are trying to convince a customer to rely on your showroom and ask the question, "What's most important to you?" then don't say another word. Let them respond. Avoid the temptation to interrupt because chances are the customer will relate much more information than they initially intended. When they are done speaking, wait seven seconds (count silently in your head, one Mississippi, two Mississippi, etc.). The chances are pretty good that your prospect will subsequently relate additional information that will help you develop the best solution for their project and gain their trust.

 

Silence works well when dealing with type A personalities and assertive types because they typically want to dominate a conversation and hear themselves talk. When you use silence, you play to their ego while at the same time obtain additional valuable information. Attorneys usually learn this skill as part of their education.

 

Silence can also help disarm anger and adverse behavior such as yelling, cursing or personal attacks. The reason why a silent response works so well in these situations is that most people don't want to engage in a one-sided battle. Typically, if you don't respond to an angry or unreasonable customer, their emotions will not get the better of them and they will return to a more normal posture.

 

The Black Swan Group, which specializes in negotiation strategies, explains that silence can represent a tool to move negotiations forward. Using silence helps you better understand your counterpart's motivation for their position or behavior. Try it and let us know how it works on the DPHA Facebook Page or with our LinkedIn Group.