The
reason why change is so difficult is because we want to believe what we
want to believe. Facts be damned. That's why many people are so
intractable. Regardless of evidence, almost every human will hold to
his or her convictions. That's why there is a resounding element of
truth to Donald Trump's pre-presidency claim that he could walk down
Fifth Avenue in Manhattan and shoot someone and his supporters will
still support him. In an interesting and eye-opening blog written by
Oran Varol on Heleo, Varol writes that trying to persuade someone to
change their mind by providing irrefutable evidence won't work because
the brain does not follow facts. John Adams knew this to be true. He
said, "Facts are stubborn things, but our minds are even more
stubborn."
"We tend to undervalue evidence that contradicts our beliefs and we
overvalue evidence that confirms them. We filter out inconvenient
truths and arguments on the opposing side. As a result, our opinions
solidify, and it becomes increasingly harder to disrupt established
patterns of thinking," Varol writes.
Alternative facts are real to those who believe them because they
confirm pre-existing beliefs. That's why confirmation bias is real. We
want to belief what we want to believe. And if you need evidence,
Google a question that you want an answer to. Chances are you will
click until you find a response that you want to find. Confirmation
bias helps to explain why couples will argue when one party asks the
other their opinion of anything. If the response is not what the asking
party wants to hear, an argument is likely to follow.
Given the significant evidence that you can't use facts to change
someone's mind, is there a better alternative? The answer is "yes",
according to Varol. He claims that you have to give your brain an out
by convincing yourself that your previously held conviction was right
given the evidence that you had at the time. If the information you
have access to changes, then so should your mind.
However, too often when someone tries to change someone else, the
approach taken is that I am right and you are wrong. Here's why I am
right. When someone is being challenged, the immediate response almost
always is to challenge back.
There really is a better and more persuasive way. If you insult or
dismiss someone else's opinions and beliefs ("a basket of
deplorables"), he or she is likely to dig in because if they don't, they
feel they are admitting they are stupid and that's not a claim most
people are willing or able to make. Varol explains that if someone
disagrees with you it's not necessarily that they are wrong and you are
right. It's simply because the other party believes in something that
you don't.
The great challenge is that beliefs are tied to identity. Changing
someone's mind requires changing their identity and that's almost
impossible. Varol advises to place a healthy separation between
yourself and the product of yourself. For example, if you try to
convince Detroit autoworkers that global warming is real and therefore
they need to produce nonfossile fuel cars to protect penguins in
Antarctica, the chance of getting buy-in is slim to none. However, if
you frame the argument that renewal energy solutions will provide job
security for their grandchildren, then you may convince someone that
your belief is in their best interest.
Another reason why changing someone's mind is so difficult is that
"birds of a feather flock together". We friend people on Facebook who
have the same beliefs that we do. We live in neighborhoods where you
are more similar to others next door than you are different. Varol
advises to make friends with people who will challenge you and
disagree. Having contrarians to challenge you can be especially helpful
running a business. Admittedly though, it's not easy and certainly not
comfortable. We have been preaching looking through someone else's
lens to better understand what they really want. The same thing applies
to challenging your status quo.
Varol's advice is to strongly believe in your path, but be willing
to change if the facts show a better way. Ask yourself what evidence
would you need to receive in order to change one of your most strongly
held beliefs. If the answer is nothing can change your mind, then
responding to change will be next to impossible.